India has a rich heritage of storytelling. Since childhood, every Indian has witnessed texts like Panchatantra, Jataka Tales, Tenali Rama’s tales of wit and wisdom. They have been inculcating the right morals towards nature and humanity for several generations.
Beyond texts, the world also introduces us to many such individuals around us who are no less than living lessons of virtue and humanism.
For many years I have been acquainted with the iron lady who has not only broken the typical stereotypes of the society built for women but also stood tall against gender disparity. She is none other than my beloved Kaaku, Mrs.Sucheta Sharad Potnis. Before I elaborate more, let me first introduce her as a resilient Ms.Vimal from the era of pre-independence.
In God’s own country, Kerala, in a small Maharashtrian community in Cochin born was a deity, who has been nurturing people around with her gleam. Though born as a first child, she was pampered with utmost love and support from her parents. Her father called her ladoba. She was born as a Laxmi in the family, as soon after her birth, her father acquired an earnest job Vimal was an intelligent student right from her schooling. She completed her Matriculation (Std X) from Malayali Municipal School, Cochin.
Once Vimal happened to watch a Malayalam cinema ‘Chumaduthangi’ wherein she was very much inspired by the male character. The character portrayed the role of a brother who selflessly handled all the responsibilities towards his sisters and parents.
That was the time when Vimal fixed her mind to give up her marital thoughts and to shoulder her prime duties towards her parents, and her differently-abled brother, throughout her life.
Being a girl child in the 1950’s, her relatives were narrow-minded towards education. But how could a father let her Laxmi be confined within the four walls and get her married as per the so-called tradition of early marriage (then) in India? Vimal aspired to be a doctor, so she worked hard towards her goal and scored excellent marks to seek admission. Alas! Due to financial constraints, she had to settle down for BSc. But she was destined to walk even farther. With due support from her maternal aunt, she pursued her MSc in Botany in 1967 with a handful of people doing masters in that era.
Her parents never let societal pressure be a barrier to her growth as an individual.
They were elated to see her achieve great heights academically, but what bothered them was the thought of their daughter being unmarried.
At times they tried to convince Vimal for marriage but it was difficult to find an equally qualified groom for her, in Cochin. Somewhere, Vimal realized that her dream of being independent was hindering her parents, so she finally agreed for marriage.
In 1968, she moved to Panvel at her paternal aunt’s place and got her first job as a Chemist in Dhootpapeshwar. Finally, at age of 29, she was on her feet, but thoughts about marriage kept bothering her family. Later that year during Diwali, when everyone was lighting up their homes, it was the time Vimal had enlightened her decision to meet one of the grooms, on the suggestion of her relatives. “ Aakhir… jodiya to upar wala hi banata hai !” Marriages are never easy and so was with Vimal! She was an independent woman and had very logical conditions towards marriage.
The Bhartiya naari within her spoke up, to shoulder the responsibilities of her parents and brother even after the marriage.
In February 1969, Vimal got married to Shri. Sharad Potnis, on pledging a vow to fulfill responsibilities at both ends.
Hereon, Vimal was to be recognized as Sucheta. New beginnings marked new challenges, as Kerala’s alluring daughter Vimal was now set in her married life at Mumbai as “Sucheta”, a dutiful daughter-in-law.
Immediately after marriage, Sucheta started working part-time in Patkar College, Goregaon. By the end of 1975, she was blessed with two children Suchindra and Suchitra. After all, a responsible woman never goes off her feet! Her personal journey from a wife to a mother of two went hand-in-hand from a demonstrator in the lab to a Botany Professor in College! This professional routine continued for 23 years! What a skillful balance maintained! Needless to say, working mothers are the silent heroes of this world!
While maintaining this balance in life Sucheta found it a tedious task to look after her parents and brother who were miles apart in Kerala. So she got them relocated to Virar, where she visited them regularly for an unbroken period of 20 years.
A saying of “A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart” is well depicted by a caring daughter like Sucheta.
To the utter dismay of the family, Sucheta’s father suffered a cardiac arrest and was counting his final moments. This news broke Sucheta’s heart into a million pieces, as her major support system was soon to shatter.
How could a father leave his mortal coil for good, without his eternally-bonded daughter by his side!
Sucheta arrived home and uttered “Vimu aali”, only after which he was relieved to breathe his last.
With a heavy heart and standing tall against all laid customs, papa ki ladli – Vimu, boldly performed all the last rites for her father.
As promised to her father she took care of her mother and brother under the same roof with her family. It was not easy for Sucheta to cater her mother who had lost her vision, and at the same time, to serve her mother-in-law who was suffering from cancer. Yet, she left no space for questioning her commitment. She did everything to serve the purpose of her family.
Sucheta was enjoying her post-retirement life with her grandchildren. She imbibed her father’s passion for music and tuned herself to learn Hindustani classical music in her 70’s. She took equal interest in jewelry-making. She even spared her creativity in beautiful sketches and drawings. It was this phase of life where she felt lively and enjoyed the moments which she couldn’t while holding the bag of responsibilities.
Days rolled well on track, only until Sucheta realized there was a huge speed breaker amidst. It was one fine day when she felt something unusual with her body.
A repeated bloodstain on the inner clothing had put her in distraught. To further examine this, Sucheta’s daughter had got the mammogram done immediately. The reports indicated an alarming call! Doctors had intimidated them to rush to Tata Memorial Hospital, Mumbai which was known for specialist cancer treatment. Now the battle in front of Sucheta was with breast cancer! She was about to collapse again, but all she could see was her mother in late ’80s in front of her. The only thought that kept her going was her mental assurance that she should not pass away before her mother. It was Sucheta’s affirmative thought and her mother’s faith by her words “Tula kahi hi honar nahi, aamchi kalji karu nako!” that got her out from this misery. Within a few weeks of her discharge from the hospital, her mother passed away.
It was as if a mother gave away her life to her daughter! What a heart-touching moment!
Her ordinary mother with extraordinary thoughts believed in feeding the needy ones, rather than spending money over a few rituals. To follow this, on the 13th day of her mother’s passing away, Sucheta donated money and food in an old age home. What an idealistic approach for everyone to follow!
Sucheta is a woman of morals who advises every woman that she should never disregard herself at any stage of her life; she should give equal importance to herself as much as she does to others being a wife, mother, daughter, or daughter-in-law.
With the utmost humility, she proudly says that whatever she is today, is only because of her parent’s sanskaar, and her husband’s unbound support!
She follows Savitribai Phule’s teachings and strongly believes that every woman should be educated and step out to be financially independent. Only then can she take care of herself and her parents! Women should not restrict themselves to their duties towards their families and children. She should have her self-respect served at her feet.
Years ago, Sucheta’s open-minded parents allowed her to explore life on her terms, which in turn Sucheta has inculcated in her children.
This is how change should begin, within the core of the family! One who is able to respond to welfare and wellbeing is a responsible human being. And this is what Sucheta has done all her life!
In the years that I have known Kaaku, I’m blessed to have her as a living legend by my side! Her optimistic approach towards life, her amicable nature with people around her, and her ever-lasting charisma have touched many souls that have come across.
In the era where daughters were considered to be a burden for the family, Sucheta has dashed down all the societal stereotypes and proved how daughters are indeed a treasure!
As her name Sucheta symbolizes “beautiful mind”, we are eternally privileged to have such a beautiful soul with us, inspiring us to lead a beautiful life!
Amazing story of my cousin sister Vimutai as we call her. I came to know about the details of her struggles through this article, thank you. She resembles my mother so much that when I met her recently, I felt like hugging my mom. She will always be a great inspiration to me in my life
Chandana, kudos to you. What a beautiful way to portray a story of a Indian woman, her struggles and sacrifices through Potnis Kaku. Keep writing! Keep touch others hearts through your words.
Potnis Kaku, we all look upto you!
Well said Chandana,kaku still has that enthusiasm,.she is true inspiration to us,an amazing woman I know . Evergreen personality…
Excellent write up for sharad a kaku !! Not at all knowing her life story before cancer
Vimutai, as I call her, Such a beautiful person, inside and out.. You are indeed a legend and a true inspiration in everyway. How little I knew about her till I read this narrated version. Heros like Vimutai are the true leaders amongst us.. Thank you Chandana. Beautifully done. 🙏🏼
Thank you everyone for your kind words about my Aai and ofcourse a big Thank you to Chandana, a brave lady I always admire and respect.
I am truly blessed to be Suchetas daughter. She has been my biggest support even today and her calm and composed demeanor is her greatest strength.
Suchitra,
Your Aai, Vimutai for me is a mirror image of my Mai, and I see so much of my mother in her.
It is indeed a blessing to be her Daughter.
I am her cousin Alku.
🙏🏼
Very well done chandana. Such stories depicting srong women should come out to give strength and courage to other women.
Really appreciate and inspire by kaku.
What an inspiration and I feel blessed to meet her in person.
Potnis kaaku is a living example of ‘a determined person will always find a way’.
The 1st step is the most critical aspect of walking miles and the full credit goes to her father.
Beautifully narrated – keep it up Sushma & Chandana.
She is charming even today. Thank you Chandan for such a wonderful story. There is still lot to be done in our country to encourage women to take a lead and I believe people like you and your friend will keeping creating bridges through story telling. All the best!
Kaku you have always been an inspiration with your evergreen personality!! I also had good time chatting with Ajji who always praised you. Thanks Chandana for sharing more angles from her older days … having put her on a much more higher place … an ideal person to make us believe more in women who truly lead by example, really extraordinary yet so very much humble. I feel blessed to have known you 🙏 Loads of love and happiness to you!!!
god bless kaaku for never feeling pressured by the society or getting influenced by the stereotypes of that era